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And Then There Were None

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A year ago I had 4 cats. Today I have none.
Yesterday I helped my baby girl Pixel cross the Rainbow Bridge. She was no longer a baby really she was geriatric being just short of 19 years old. She was gorgeous, loving and the most intelligent cat I knew. She played fetch and loved to get into my jewellery. Her favourite treat was shrimp.
3 weeks ago my baby Romulus was diagnosed with diabetes. We started treatment but he stopped eating, he developed systemic infections and lost use of 3 legs. The prognosis was iffy and any further treatment to prolong his life was incredibly invasive,time consuming, costly complicated by weather conditions making such treatment unreliable. My cat was in pain and I knew my cat; he would hate being poked and prodded, kept in a cage . 2 weeks ago with a heavy and grievous heart I helped him cross the Rainbow Bridge. I was in shock ,I’m still shocked and questioning if I did the right thing. He was only 10 years old. I found him on Petfinder.com and fell in love with his face; even before I adopted him I said "his name is Romulus ". An incredible mouser he was. He was supposed to be my comfort when Pixel passed. I miss him at bedtime;the only time he would purr.
Strider died late last September. He was my little man. He was born July Friday the 13th 2001 to a black cat named Lucky under a full moon. He died in my lap. He was my shadow and I still look for him.
Bart was a cat I adopted from my brother. Some years before my brothers wife wanted to put him down just because my niece was suddenly allergic to cats. I have thoughts on that. I demanded he come live with me and after some time he was a very welcome addition. Last year his health declined and he had a stroke followed by another. I knew it was his time. Doesn’t make it hurt any the less.

For the first time in decades I don’t have a cat and it’s hard. Very hard. I miss them and love them very much.

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i am so very sorry for your loss.

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I’m so sorry for your loss😢 They were incredibly lucky cats to have you as their human. Remsie your message is beautiful.

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I believe that however much you love your animal family member, they love you back 100 times more – for you are their entire world. I also believe, or like to believe that our pets wait for us. Animals are innocent. When they love, they love unconditionally and forever. Pixel, Romulus, Strider and Bart are waiting for you. They wait patiently, dozing in the warm sun and warmth of the Kingdom beyond. They know you will join them some day. Well… occasionally Romulus darts of to chase a cloud-mouse, but he always returns. Time really doesn’t exist for them. What may be 50 years here in this life, is only a second or so there.
And never feel guilty about shortening the end-of-life pain and misery. Many years ago, when it was clear that it was time for a much beloved family dog to move on (total kidney failure and complications) and I was sobbing and shaking with grief, the vet, a truly gentle older man, said to me that at times like this, this was the most generous gift that I could give to my pet.

I miss every one of my pets that has gone on. They have become chapters in my life. However, I feel in my heart that they are waiting for me. When my time comes, we will enter the Kingdom together. I with a song in my heart… and they with purrs, woofs and squeaks of joy. Your kitties are not “gone”. They are simply waiting… and loving you – always.
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Thank you all for the kind words and advice.
I expected my treatise of love/ grief to stand alone.

I’m not a religious person but I have hoped for years my pets are waiting for me; this includes a horse who I plan to ride into a sunset like we used to.
My cats have always been a part of me. Who am I without them…

Time will heal my heart but I can’t forget.

The next cats I adopt will mostly be my last. I’m not young anymore and I hope my future cats live a long life but I have a deadline.

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May I
say again thank you. You guys have helped me so much , so so much.

And thank you Bird-Rules xoxo. Your message soothed my heart.

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Passage of time soothes the pain. But it’s okay to keep hold of the memories.It’s also okay to feel sad when something reminds you of your pet. If there is nothing beyond this life.. (and sometimes I waffle a bit on that myself), well, by keeping memories in our hearts, our pets and people live on. The tales I tell my daughter of my parents and grandparents, she will pass on to her children. My four year old granddaughter already knows that when I was seven, my horse was named Brownie and I loved him very much. So, in a sense, though sixty or so years later, my horse lives on…This is a good thing because he was my first true love! I told him so frequently. He was an excellent listener.
So Foo friend, mourn for the passing of your pets, but hold them in your heart.There is a possibility that my little dog Poppy may be the last pet. She’s only two and Mr. Chuckles is getting elderly. And that’s okay. I’m personally not afraid of my end… because, either it’s the beginning of something else, or it’s nothing. Either one is fine with me.

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Your losses had me crying for you and for the cats we sent to Rainbow Bridge ourselves, the last was 4 Feb 19 when Mac’s lymphoma got worse and his quality of life was so bad we couldn’t help him anymore. He lost his littermate to a faster-growing lymphoma in December 2017. Our cats leave little pawprints on our hearts. When they go to Rainbow Bridge, we have cat-shaped holes in our hearts. Another cat doesn’t fill that hole, but makes a new space in our hearts that eases the pain with soft fur and quiet purrs.

I wrote a poem when my Freya-girl died of End Stage Renal Failure and had a stroke the day she died and couldn’t walk, so we took her to be euthanized that day. Hubby & I were grief-stricken.

Love and Heartbreak From Meowmie

Our hearts, so full of love
Now break in agony
A heart cannot be rent in twain
Without love to fill its sails
The greater the risk
The greater the reward
To dare all is to risk all
We gain all, and feel pain’s sword
The sharpest blade is the one not felt
Until it slices further
Intact status starts to melt
Would that there be a lypiphera
To bear the agony that we cannot
An anguissette
But endure the hurt we must
Lest we forget
We must not betray the sacred trust
Love and remember
Grief is one step of the healing
Tears but part of the heart and soul’s annealing

Another will always have a place
But can never fill the space

Love comes softly on little jellybean toes
A silken touch of long whiskers
Rasp of tongue
Cat-food breath wafting ‘neath my nose
Whiskas?
Science Diet? Royal Canin? Who knows?
Velveted paw taps
Soothing pelt of fur glides on by
Twining against tall two legs -
Cat-to-cat language for, “I acknowledge you are larger than I.
Whilst not making a statement about relative rank,
I want to be friendly with you.”
Tail flirts
Song of content commences
Inaudible good vibrations
Vibrato sotto voce
Rumbles rising
Pigeon purrs undulating
Purrfur to purr
Cheek rubs proclaim love
or property
or beloved property?
Cats are like that.
Song decrescendos to coda as the singer sings both to sleep
Dreams of catnip mice and dangled feathers
Visions of walks in fields of heathers
Whose dreams are whose?
It matters not.
Dreamtime together matters most of all.
Until the nightmare of the final separation
Follow the dreams
Until reunion forever with jubilation
In the place where no shadows fall.